Sunday, April 05, 2009

Inside the heart and mind of Raven Starr.

Happy Sunday Afternoon All.

Well, this is my day to sit back and meditate on the week that has ended and the one beginning in a few hours. This new year has brought me great joy. I have ups and downs but this year, I truly can't complain. I've received two new contracts within the last few weeks and I'm proud.

It was hard to get back to writing after I wrote The Perfect. I don't know why, honestly. My process usually requires me to take a small break after finishing a story. I use this time to clear my mind and ready myself for the next adventure. But I was at a stale-mate, my first in my writing career but certainly not my last, I'm sure.

I felt lost without writing but when I sat down to do so, the words didn't flow out. I just sat here, in limbo wishing I could but not wanting to write. If that makes sense.

I know all writers have their own way of creating their work. I love to light candles, meditate a bit and then find the perfect music for the feel of the story I'm writing. Like if I'm writing a fight scene I like Metallica , Creed or something hard and raw. (No perverted thoughts you guys. LOL)
If I'm feeling romantic it's Earth, Wind and Fire, Barry White and something smooth. Jazz helps too.

But none of my tricks of attracting my muse helped and I just sank. I started to write a story first entitled Twin Souls but after writing more of it, I found the storyline very close my life, including the death of my mother. I had to stop writing it. Even after I changed the title to To Start Again I still couldn't bring myself to write about my mother short but traumatic hospital stay and her death.

I have grief still in my heart even though it's been 6 years. The wound left by my mother's death has a hold on me. I'm for the belief in life after death and that our souls carry on. So, in saying that I hope my mother watches over me. I pray that she can see the progress I've made in my life. Right after her passing, I must admit I lost my way. It took 2 years to find my way out of the darkness.

I find my release in writing. It made me feel, connect and truly grieve over what I'd had and lost in my short lifetime. In knowing what true lost, I was reborn. I love my family more and more each day, never sure if we will all greet the dawn together. I try to fill my heart with as much love and understand as I can. So everyday writing wasn't a chore. It was a release.

Now, feeling as if I'm again stepping into the unknown the ground beneath me wobbles and threw me off my writing urge. It took some digging and some looking inward, but I found my strength again. I take each day as it comes. No pressure. My dreams and goals are important to me. So, I sit everyday and bang out my word count, which is only 1,000 words a day but at least it's something. Going from nothing a day to 1,000 words is pretty decent, I think.

I want to find the strength to complete To Start Again, but maybe the reason why I can't finish it is my life is completely written yet. There are still some surprises to come. Lovers to be found, teachers to learn from and children from all over to teach. I know now that my writing isn't a fluke. I'm not a one hit wonder.
I am Raven Starr! You better recognize! LOL

Take Care of yourselves, my friends. Live, Love and laugh everyday!
Raven Starr

No comments: